Better Know the Non-Con: Week 1 in the Big Ten

Better Know the Non-Con: Week 1 in the Big Ten

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Better Know the Non-Con: Week 1 in the Big Ten
Lambeau Field is seen through a haze of smoke when, mercifully, someone burns it to the ground with both teams and their fans inside on Sunday, September 6.

Will anyone in the Big Ten play…anyone? (Not if you’re Indiana, of course.)

Pretty straightforward, no?

The Best

UCLA Bruins at California Golden Bears
Saturday, September 5 | 9:30pm CT | ESPN

And it’s not particularly close.

Hello. You’re reading a college football blog, and a Big Ten one at that.

Yes, I realize I am recommending a UCLA-Cal game.

The other option—the only other option—was the Apple Cup, played on a Sunday afternoon. There is nothing else in the slot that is actually worth it.

A non-conference rivalry game, and a true roadie at that, played at a dumb and weird time, is exactly the definition of a good Week 1 matchup. Popcorn matchup.

The Worst

Minnesota Golden Gophers vs. Eastern Illinois Panthers
Thursday, September 3 | 7pm | Peacock

I get that you need to open the season with someone and PJ Fleck has never found a shitty non-conference game he won’t play, but man. Imagine being excited about your season and seeing that it’s a 3-9 Eastern Illinois team who you should hang at least 60 on.

The Upset Special

Northwestern Wildcats vs. South Dakota State Jackrabbits
Saturday, September 5 | 7pm | BTN

There can be no positives here. Griffin Wilde gets to square off against his old team, which is amusing enough. That’s about it.

Either Northwestern beats a good FCS team or loses at the Bunny Hutch—against the Jackrabbits, guys? what were you thinking?—to an FCS team. Jacks QB Chase Mason is a big guy and should test the ‘Cats, though some good pressure from the Northwestern front seven should be able to swing this.

It better be able to swing this.

It’ll be able to swing this, right?

Time for Arson

wisconsin badgers “at” Notre Dame Fighting Irish
Sunday, September 6 | 6:30pm | NBC | at Lambeau Field

I am going to be stuck at the family cabin in northwestern wisconsin with my Lutheran, badger in-laws and Lutheran, badger wife, hoping that a meteor strikes this game—or, hell, just the cabin—to cleanse us all of our sins.

The Rest

  • Rutgers vs. UMass (Thursday, 9/3 — 5pm, BTN)
  • Illinois vs. UAB (Thursday, 9/3 — 8pm, BTN)
  • Purdue vs. Indiana State (Friday, 9/4 — 6pm, BTN)
  • Michigan State vs. Toledo (Friday, 9/4 — 7pm, BTN)
  • USC vs. Fresno State (Friday, 9/4 — 8pm, FOX)
  • Indiana vs. North Texas (Saturday, 9/5 — 11am, FOX)
  • Nebraska vs. Ohio (Saturday, 9/5 — 11am, FS1)
  • Ohio State vs. Ball State (Saturday, 9/5 — 11:30am, BTN)
  • Oregon vs. Boise State (Saturday, 9/5 — 2:30pm, CBS)
  • Penn State vs. Marshall (Saturday, 9/5 — 2:30pm, FS1)
  • Iowa vs. Northern Illinois (Saturday, 9/5 — 3:15pm, BTN)
  • Michigan vs. Western Michigan (Saturday, 9/5 — 6:30pm, NBC)
  • Maryland vs. Hampton (Saturday, 9/5 — 7pm, BTN)
  • Washington vs. Washington State (Sunday, 9/6 — 3pm, NBC)

Apple Cup was mentioned above, for good reason. I guess the other Pac-12 matchups here (Oregon-Boise, USC-Fresno) are fine, but both being at the Big Ten host lowers them in my eyes.

So how will the conference fare?

In case you’re one of the five people still reading this blog, I do not care whether the conference wins or loses its games. Conference pride is for suckers and secessionists. Go Northwestern, and fuck your teams.

That said, we like to prognosticate, and with the exception of wisconsin, I promise I’ll do it straight-up.

I think the Big Ten opens up 16-2 in Week 1: chalk up wisconsin as one of the losses, and then one of Northwestern or, more likely, UCLA makes up the second defeat.

But what say you?

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