Why Nara Smith and the tradwife debate has struck such a chord
TheGrio...
The model and digital creator Nara Smith said she’s not a “tradwife,” and the internet hasn’t rested since.
Somewhere between hand-rolling pasta, pressing her own ketchup, and slipping into designer ostrich-feathered dresses to prepare an elaborate meal entirely from scratch while speaking in a soft monotone voice about whatever her husband, Lucky Blue Smith, and the kids have been up to lately, Nara Smith has become one of the most polarizing figures on the internet.
Discourse fresher than the raw milk the 24-year-old digital content creator and model swears by has erupted after she appeared on the “Call Her Daddy” podcast, where she opened up about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis and firmly rejected the “tradwife” label many have prescribed to her.
“They kind of used me as the poster child for the trad wife movement, which was very bizarre to me,” she said after host Alex Cooper brought up the connotation she often receives.
The wife and mother of four then Googled the term’s definition, which she read aloud.
“A woman who embraces or promotes a traditional model of marriage and family life, where she typically prioritizes being a homemaker and a primary caregiver for kids,” she read. “Takes primary responsibility for cooking, cleaning, and managing the household. Supports her husband’s role as the primary breadwinner. Often values traditional gender roles within marriage.”
“I’m none of that,” she declared before offering to go through the definition point by point.
She pushed back against the assumption that she and her husband, whom she’s been married to since 18, don’t both contribute financially, explained that they split childcare responsibilities 50-50, that he, in fact, does all the cleaning, and emphasized that she is very much a working mom.
“I think there’s also a bigger conversation to be had because everything that I’ve been reading online, I find it very concerning, almost that we need to put women in very specific, very narrow boxes in order to make sense of them,” she continued before asking, “Why can’t we do it all?”
Since the interview, particularly the clip of Smith rejecting the tradwife label, started making the rounds online, the internet has been set ablaze. She’s right about one thing. There is absolutely a bigger conversation happening. The debate, however, is less about the full range of modern womanhood and really about the complexities and consequences of wrapping yourself in an aesthetic steeped in a long history of traditional gender roles that challenge the freedom for other women—then insisting that’s never what you were trying to communicate.
For the uninitiated, Smith, who hails from South Africa, rose to prominence through highly stylized social media content that doubles as what feels like luxury fashion campaigns and rather advanced homecooking tutorials. She makes everything from scratch, even chewing gum. What began as a way to better manage her autoimmune condition became the foundation of her lifestyle content. She, for better or worse, heavily flirts with an ideal wifehood, one where she seemingly has a thousand hours to bake bread and look beautiful while doing it all for the well-being of her family, absonced on a stately property in Connecticut.
The problem, however, is that Smith has built an enormous audience across platforms while presenting herself through an aesthetic that many people have long associated with the tradwife movement—a modern readoption of traditional gender roles and conservative ideals.
“People defending Nara Smith by dismissing every criticism are missing the point. Critical thinking means questioning the message being promoted, not blindly defending it,” one user over on X wrote. “Women promoting trad wife ideology are, in principle, no different from men promoting incel ideology. Both push rigid gender roles and deserve the same level of scrutiny.”
There are, of course, plenty of followers who believe people simply projected an ideology onto a woman wearing beautiful gowns and making elaborate meals. Even her religion has come up in conversation, since she’s said she’s not a “hardcore” Mormon despite her husband being a vocal follower of the faith. Some even find the whole debate around her potentially problematic in and of itself.
“The ironic thing about the Nara Smith discussion. Is how Anti- feminist and participating in blatant misogyny people are being, in both defense and critique of her. Like You can’t claim to be fighting the patriarchy while simultaneously disrespecting women as a whole,” a user on Threads wrote.
“The weirdest part about this Nara Smith hate is that her daughter has cancer and yall are pummeling her while she’s down,” someone else wrote on Threads.
Another user on the same platform added, “I’ve literally never pinned Nara for a trad wife at all. Because of the costumes, the voice, script, and the ridiculous recipes, I always saw her as a character putting on a VERY OBVIOUS show. Not even an influencer, but a character. Like on a TV show. But then again my frontal cortex has been fully developed for over a decade so it’s never occurred to me that she’s doing anything more than entertainment. Which is also why I enjoy her.”
Others argue that it’s Smith who may not fully understand the history and politics attached to the image she has built. Some have gone further, scrutinizing her larger public persona, including her decision to seemingly not speak out on political issues and her appearance at another creator’s farm, which has also been criticized for embracing the tradwife movement.
“You can like Nara Smith, just don’t gaslight all of us who know what we saw,” a user on Threads wrote.
“From the speech tone, cadence, stolen recipes, outfits, “natural way of living,” etc. she postered an aesthetic similar to Ballerina Farm and Ericka Kirk. Those of us with sense knew it was a grift,” she continued. “But we are also aware the influence those women have over others. They make empires, build wealth, have degrees, have house help, producers etc but they tell women and/or encourage “barefoot and pregnant.” A well paid grift.”
Then there’s the fact that one of the loudest backlashes against a tradwife persona has been that of a Black woman. Several of the most prominent to speak out against her have been non-Black women seemingly policing her concept of womanhood. Perhaps that’s why this conversation has resonated so deeply with so many Black women. For generations, Black women have been negotiating what softness, femininity, caregiving, wifehood, ambition, rest, and self-care are supposed to look like in a society that has rarely afforded them the luxury of fitting neatly into any one box.
Those conversations are all still unfolding in real time. Which is exactly why an aesthetic based on a version of womanhood that has historically excluded many Black women and upholds harmful patriarchal norms was never going to be received as just another pretty dress and a loaf of homemade bread. Whether Smith intended to join that conversation or not, her content is certainly holding court.