Mary J. Blige reveals to Michelle Obama why she was intentional about not having children and why her village uplifts her
TheGrio...
The Queen of Hip-Hop Soul has used her music to reveal vulnerabilities about love and loss. In a new sit-down interview with the former first lady, Blige explains why she’s choosing herself in all aspects.
Longtime fans of Mary J. Blige can readily name the song or album from the singer that got them through a trial or tribulation. When it came time to share those same thoughts in front of Michelle Obama, the singer readily admitted she was nervous.
“You are Michelle Obama!” Blige said, laughing.
The singer was a guest on Obama’s “IMO” podcast alongside her brother, Craig Robinson, and throughout their conversation, topics such as Blige’s discovery of her gift for singing, how she’s chosen to protect herself after years of pain and heartbreak and more were top of mind. One of those topics Robinson brought up was Blige’s intention never to have children of her own.
“I said a lot of things when I was younger,” Blige told the duo around the 42-minute mark. “I saw a lot of people struggling, I see a lot, you know, my family members needing babysitters and them not having a choice, no freedom. When you’re younger, those the words you make, the choices you make that I didn’t want any kids,” she said. “When you get older, you start to see how valuable their teenagers are to them. Their kids are to them.”
Blige paused, reflecting for a moment. “So now it’s like … ‘Oh man…’ But then you’re like … eh…”
The discussion of having children prompted Obama to expound further on why having the title of “mother” wasn’t the end-all, considering the ultimate goal.
“If you’re not a whole person, a child will not do that for you,” Obama said. “It won’t complete you. You will just now be disappointed that this other human being didn’t fulfill the holes that were in you. And now you’ve got a child that feels burdened by filling your holes, you know? You gotta, you gotta be a whole person. You should want that even more than wanting to be a parent.”
Elsewhere in the interview, Blige readily stated that she’s good with having her longtime friends and also enjoying her solitude at home.
“Sometimes I’m lonely but I’m alone a lot,” Blige said. “I’m in my home but we have a good time. We have a good time. I make sure we have a good time. We by ourselves, we watching movies, I be trying on clothes, I be watching movies. I accept it, it is what it is. I’m not trying to have company and friends, it is what it is.”
Even as a known homebody, Blige still can rely on her core group of girlfriends, friendships she has cultivated for well over 30 years.
“I have a small crew of fabulous women. I’m fabulous. We have this type of conversation. They have my best interest, they’re my family. We all live in the same neighborhood. And if I need, I use each one of them for different things because they’re all built different. But they’re there for me when I need them.”
Blige is currently taking part in her first Las Vegas residency at the MGM Grand. Titled “My Life, My Story: The Las Vegas Residency,” the show spans hits from the singer’s massive career.