College Football Random Thoughts Week Zero: We’re Back… Kinda

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Well, Roll my Tide and color me Crimson! College football is back!! Kinda…

A few years ago, TV invented “Week 0” which preceded the traditional Week 1 that would start the college football season on the Saturday before Labor Day (the first Monday in September).

Money grubbers loved it so much that just this week, the NCAA announced a rule change that moves the official start of the football season from the Thursday before Labor Day to the Thursday 14 weeks before the first Saturday in December. That rule means the 2027 season will start for most teams on the Saturday before Labor Day weekend. Teams will no longer need a waiver from the NCAA to play that week.

But enough with the history lessons. FBS had eight games played this past Saturday, though no SEC teams were involved. Only one ranked team was a part of the festivities. Five attention-starved teams from the poverty ACC played games last Saturday. Two match-ups involved teams on their maiden voyage as members of the FBS. The top game was TCU-UNC played in Dublin, Ireland, which has become a thing for some reason.

Before we get into the results, let’s do a little housecleaning. For the uninitiated, Random Thoughts is a weekly wrap of the week of college football and all the zaniness that goes with it. The information delivered here comes with a heaping teaspoon of snark. So if you are thin-skinned, you best turn away now. There are plenty of pandering websites out there that will blow smoke up your nether regions and fill you overly sensitive needs.

Another warning: if you are looking for updates on lawsuits and judge rulings on whatever, don’t bother looking here. That said, I will leave this strong statement by Mizzou head coach Eli Drinkwitz here for America to ponder.

SCORES

North Carolina 15 TCU 10 – The first Carolina drive of the season started well but stalled at the five yard line as the Tar Heels had to settle for a field goal. The Frogs scored the next 10 points but UNC tied it up. With under two minutes in the half, TCU snapped the ball over the punter’s head that resulted in a safety.

The last three quarters was played in a heavy downpour on a field that is not normally used for American football on a regular basis and it was sloppy. A UNC field goal was the only points scored in the second half. A spirited Carolina defense really shined in this game.

#14 Southern Cal 42 San Jose State 26 – The Trojans looked great through three quarters building a 35-3 lead, but the back-ups allowed three straight scoring drives to end the game to dampen the celebration. This development may not seem like much but it points to a lack of depth from So Cal.

Florida State 34 New Mexico State 17 – The Seminoles offense looked okay, but the secondary looked mighty rusty. The game was not really over until four minutes to play. FSU had to play their starters the whole game.

Virginia 34 NC State 8 – Total domination by the Cavaliers. The Wolfpack tallied only 168 total yard and 10 first downs.

Of note, this game was originally supposed to be played in Rio De Janeiro, Brazil, but was cancelled due to significant logistical, operational, and sponsorship challenges. Shocker.

Memphis 27 UNLV 21 – Vegas took a 14-7 lead into halftime but gave up 17 third quarter points and never really recovered. A sack of Rebels QB Jackson Arnold fourth-and-7 with 6:08 remaining for the most part ended any threat of a comeback.

Stanford 37 Hawaii 27 – The Trees had a 23-7 lead before Hawaii stormed back with three straight fourth quarter touchdown drives to go up 27-23. But Stanford had one more scoring drive in them and then had a scoop and score on the ensuing Rainbow Warriors’ possession to seal the deal.

MOVING ON UP

North Dakota State 33 Jacksonville State 7 – The Bison destroyed the Gamecocks, holding them to 170 total yards versus 373.

North Dakota State, formerly a member of the FCS Missouri Valley Football Conference, has joined the FBS Mountain West Conference. The Bison have dominated FCS over the last 25 years with championships in 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2021, 2024. Their move up the ladder was long overdue.

Sacramento State also made the jump. moved the bulk of their sports to the Big West Conference but joined the Rust Belt-oriented MAC. The Hornets have made the FCS playoffs four of the last six seasons, but never got past the quarterfinals. They may have bitten off more than they can chew.

Eastern Michigan 28 Sacramento State 17

LOST IN TRANSLATION

Nigeria-born Paul Oyewale must have learned how to play football by watching NFL games on TV.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MULLEN?

WORST FANBASES OF THE WEEK (Tie)

Admittedly, it was pretty hot in L.A. on Saturday, but So Cal is allegedly supposed to be a blue blood. Palo Alto on the other hand had a high in the 70s.

BEST FANBASE OF THE WEEK

LOUDEST FANBASE OF THE WEEK

NDSU plays in a dome which makes 18,537 fans sound like 185,370.

CATCH OF THE WEEK

WORST CATCH OF THE WEEK

NON-CATCH OF THE WEEK

DUMBEST PENALTY OF THE WEEK

2ND DUMBEST PENALTY OF THE WEEK

MOST DEVASTATING PENALTY OF THE WEEK

WARDROBE MULCUNTION OF THE WEEK

DEBUT OF THE WEEK

COMEBACK OF THE WEEK (FCS)

I know one guy who was not getting any back on the ‘Nova campus…

DERP OF THE WEEK

I GUESS IT’S BETTER THAN THE SHIRTLESS LOSERS TREND FROM LAST YEAR

BUTTERFINGERS OF THE WEEK

OLD COOTS OF THE WEEK

Not a single starter on Virginia’s offensive line is under the age of 22. The starters are compiled of a 5th-year, two 6th-year, and two 7th-year players. Ridiculous.

NAME OF THE WEEK

Austin Peay defensive back Ellis Ellis Jr. That is child abuse.

STATS OF THE WEEK

• North Dakota State was called for 13 penalties and 94 yards and still won by 26.
• NC State LB Popo Aguirre had 4 solo tackles and 14 assists. Most likely because UVa possessed the ball 63% of the time.
• Charles Huff became the first Memphis head coach to win a road debut game.
• Eastern Michigan win over Sacramento State marked the Eagles’ 500th victory in this their 135th season.

THE WACKY WORLD OF CORSO CGD

There was no College GameDay for Week 0, but they did have Kevin Negandhi hosted an All-SEC crew of talking heads Greg McElroy, Jesse Palmer, Booger McFarland, and Jordan Rodgers do a pre-game show in which they all talked about the s**t we don’t want to hear about (see intro above).

Rece Davis resumes his role as host alongside analysts Kirk Herbstreit, Desmond Howard, Pat McAfee, and Nick Saban. The locations for the first three weeks have already been decided and producers have decided to go tabloid and give Lane Scumbag Kiffin a platform.

• Week 1: Clemson at LSU
• Week 2: Ohio State at Texas
• Week 3: LSU at Ole Miss

SEC Nation will have a different look. Those right bastards at ESPN took our SEC slice of sunshine Laura Rutledge away and “replaced” her with Arizona State graduate Matt Barrie, who is neither southern or a beautify blonde siren. Why does ESPN hate us so much? Tim Tebow, Roman Harper and irrelevant Paul Finebaum return. Former Mizzou QB Chase Daniel joins the fray – not a bad choice. Someone named Marion Crowder will do fluff piece reports. SEC Nation’s first broadcast of 2026 will take place on September 5, 2026, from Atlanta, Georgia, ahead of the Auburn vs. Baylor game.

As far as anyone knows, Big Noon Kickoff on FOX will have the same lineup with Mark Ingram and a bunch white midwest meatheads. They will have their first show of the year for a @fascinating@ matchup between North Texas and Indiana.

ADOPT-A-TEAM

• Maybe Memphis?
• Western Michigan might be a good candidate for adoption. Former Alabama WR/special-teams captain Lance Taylor is head coach of the Broncos and led the team to a 10–4, 7–1 record, winning the MAC and a bowl game. They are favored to win the conference this year. I’m sure we’ll all be cheering for them on Saturday when they head to Ann Arbor.
• Who else? Lemme know in comments.

COUSINS

• Jacksonville State (0-1) – The Gamecocks looked awful against North Dakota State. Hopefully, they can get back on the winning side against Eastern Kentucky.
• South Alabama (4-8 in 2025) – Major Applewhite might be on the hot seat if he cannot get USA to a bowl game this December. If this was softball in Week 1, I’d be concerned for the Jags. But they should be able to handle FCS Southeastern Louisiana on Saturday.
• Troy (8-6) – Troy Bank & Trust is paying Troy U. $2.1 million to put patches on their jerseys in 2026. The Trojans are the first non-Power team to make such a deal. They host a hurting Sam Houston program (2-10 in 2025).
• West Alabama (5-4; 6-4 if you count a game against Lincoln U that was cancelled by them and was for the most part a forfeit) – Scott Cochran’s Tigers won their first five and then lost the last four. They got things going in the right direction on Sunday (yes, Sunday) against Tuskegee University in Montgomery, AL with a 27-17 victory.

THAT ANNOYING GUY WHO DOESN’T WAVE WHEN YOU LET HIM INTO TRAFFIC

• UAB (4-8) – Trent Dilfer is out. The Dragons hope Alex Mortensen can breathe new life into the program. They are at Illinois on Thursday.

SALUTE TO OUR TROOPS

• Army (7-6) – Army has rewarded head coach Jeff Monken with a new five-year contract. The Black Knights should be improved and will be a player in the AAC race. They kick it off with some school called Bryant (name the state it’s located in or mascot!).
• Navy (11-2) – The Midshipmen could be in the College Football Playoff hunt. Towson will be the first victim (name the state it’s located in or mascot!!).
• Air Force (4-8) – Nathan Pine is out as the athletic director at Air Force and coach Troy Calhoun might be on thin ice. The Falcons should be a far better team than the dumpster fire from last year. With all the defections to the PAC-12, they will have a much easier Mountain West schedule. They start with mighty Duquesne (name the state it’s located in or mascot!!!).

ELIMINATED FROM PLAYOFF CONTENTION

Eliminated: NC State

In Danger: TCU

Still Alive: Everyone else.

A way WAY WAY too early look at the College Football Playoff (CFP) picture

POWER 2

• SEC – The consensus is that UGA and Texas will be in the playoff. Oklahoma, Alabama, LSU, Texas A&M, and Ole Miss should all be in the mix.
• Big Ten – Ohio State and Oregon are the favorites in this league. Some think Indiana will be back, but I am skeptical. Southern Cal, Michigan, or Penn State could sneak their way in.

SECOND 2

• Big 12 – Utah, Houston, BYU, and Texa$ Tech will be vying for a spot.
• ACC – Miami-FL is a big favorite. Louisville, SMU follow. Virginia looked surprisingly strong in their win. And there is always Clemson.

AT LARGE

• Indies – Everyone is drooling over Notre Dame. The Irish’s hardest games are at BYU, vs. Navy (in Foxborough, Mass), and home vs. Miami-FL and SMU. Can you imagine Alabama wit this schedule??

PARTICIPATION TROPHY

Yes, we are still doing this damn silly auto-bid thing for non-Power teams to the CFP. However, this year the PAC-12 is back though it is basically the old Mountain West Conference 2.0.

Below are possible candidates.

• Memphis (AAC) has already had an impressive debut. The Blue Tigers travel to Boise (PAC-12) for a key game on September 12. Memphis does not play a Power teams. The Smurfs are at No. 2 Oregon on Saturday. A loss should not hurt them as long as they keep the game somewhat close.
• The same goes for UTSA in that they travel to Texas on Week 3. They have a solid team.
• Navy should have another strong team. The Midshipmen face Notre Dame in a game at the New England Patriots’ stadium.
• It’s worth watching Tulane who is at Duke and at K-State this fall.
• The Sun Belt’s James Madison could run the table on their weak schedule. As we have seen, having a weak schedule doesn’t matter all that much to the CFP Committee.
• North Dakota State could be a dark horse.
• UNLV might already be out of the running after their home loss to Memphis.

RANK ‘EM IF YOU GOT ‘EM

The first college football playoff rankings will be announced on Nov. 3.

CFP Rankings Show Schedule:

• Tue, Nov 3, 6pm/7pm
• Tue, Nov 10, 8pm/9pm
• Tue, Nov 17, 8pm/9pm
• Tue, Nov 24, 6:30/7:30
• Tue, Dec 1, 6pm/7pm
• Sun, Dec 6, 11am/noon

For what it’s worth, below is the AP preseason poll:

1. Ohio State (40)
2. Oregon (14)
3. Georgia
4. Notre Dame (6)
5. Texas
6. Indiana (8)
7. MiamiFL (1)
8. Texas A&M
9. Ole Miss
10. Oklahoma
11. LSU
12. Texas Tech
13. Alabama
14. Southern Cal
15. BYU
16. Michigan
17. Washington
18. Penn State
19. SMU
20. Tennessee
21. Utah
22. Iowa
23. Houston
24. Louisville
25. Missouri

LET’S GO BOWLING!

• With the additions of North Dakota State and Sacramento State, there are now 138 teams in the stupidly-named Football Bowl Subdivision.
• There will be 34 non-playoff bowls.
• Puerto Rico gets its first-ever college football bowl game.
• The Poinsettia Bowl in San Diego returns after a 10 year absence.
• Poinsettia Bowl will pit the new Pac-12 champ, if it doesn’t qualify for playoff, vs. Pac-12 legacy team in 2026. Pac-12 legacy teams are former Pac-12 members Arizona, Arizona State, Cal, Colorado, Oregon, Stanford, UCLA, Southern Cal, Utah and Washington.
• Detroit’s bowl game has been canceled after 29 years of existence. This is third bowl to fold in the past year along with the LA Bowl and Bahamas Bowl.
• The College Football Playoff National Championship Game will take place is the Roomba Stadium in Las Vegas.

LET’S GO BLOWING!

• Before the season began, Arkansas, Boston College, Stanford, and Purdue each were listed by FanDuel win total odds of 3.5. If you had the under for Stanford, you better hope they don’t win three more games.
• No FBS teams are currently banned from bowl games for the 2026–2027 season.

Krazy Kristi’s “SHUT UP!” of the Week goes to Lane Kiffin. You know why.

HEISMAN HYPE

A really strange thing has happened. For much of the preseason, the talking heads have prognosticated nothing but doom and gloom for the Crimson Tide. However ever since Keelon Russell was named the starting quarterback, things are looking mighty rosy for Alabama.

Odds per FanDuel:

1. QB CJ Carr (Notre Dame) +700 – The only thing the national press wants more than Manning winning, is an Irish winning. No doubt they already have the articles written.
2. QB Arch Manning (Texas) +850 – They’re trying to wish this into existence.
3. QB Darian Mensah (Miami-FL) +950
4. QB Dante Moore (Oregon) +1100
5. QB Julian Sayin (anOhio State) +1300 – Game manager.
6. WR Jeremiah Smith (anOhio State) +1500 – Wasn’t even the
7. QB Josh Hoover (Indiana) +1500
8. QB Trinidad Chambliss (Ole Miss) +1500
9. QB Gunner Stockton (Georgia) +2200 – “I like them French fried potaters”
10. Alabama QB Keelon Russell and three other guys tied at +2500

WR Ryan Coleman-Williams was the next highest Alabama player with odds at +22500.

DRAMARAMA

• Former TCU safety Jacob Fields, who was dismissed from the team Aug. 18 following a locker room altercation in which he allegedly punched a teammate, was arrested Sunday on a charge of aggravated assault causing serious bodily injury. Fields allegedly “sucker punched” wide receiver Dozie Ezukanma that knocked him unconscious and he hit his head on the floor.

SCHEDULING NOTES

• It was announced last week that Louisiana Tech has agreed to travel to Tuscaloosa for a single game at Saban Field at Bryant‑Denny Stadium on August 25, 2029. According to news outlets, the Crimson Tide will pay the Bulldogs a $1,382,500 guarantee for the contest. Bama also has Notre Dame on the slate for that season.
• Mississippi State had previously been slated to visit Memphis in 2028, but that game has wisely been canceled per State sources. The game was the first of a home-and-home series that was scheduled to conclude in Starkville during the 2029 season. That second game is still on.

KOACHES KORNER

^{Was that a swipe at Kalen DeBoer? ↑↑↑}

HOT SEAT

• Mike Locksley, Maryland
• Mike Norvell, Florida State
• Luke Fickell, Wisconsin
• Matt Rhule, Nebraska
• Shane Beamer, South Carolina
• Bill Belichick, North Carolina

COACHING CAROUSEL

• Arkansas > Ryan Silverfield
• Auburn > Alex Golesh
• Cal > Tosh Lupoi*
• Coastal Carolina > Ryan Beard
• Colorado State > Jim Mora, The Younger
• Florida > Jon Sumrall
• JMU > Billy Napier*
• K-State > Collin Klein
• Kent State > Mark Carney
• Kentucky > Will Stein
• LSU > Lane Kiffin*
• Memphis > Charles Huff*
• Michigan > Kyle Whittingham
• Michigan State > Pat Fitzgerald
• Missouri State > Casey Woods
• North Texas > Neal Brown
• Ohio > John Hauser
• Oklahoma State > Eric Morris
• Ole Miss > Pete Golding
• Oregon State > JaMarcus Shephard**
• Penn State > Matt Campbell
• South Florida > Brian Hartline
• Southern Miss > Blake Anderson
• Stanford > Tavita Pritchard
• Toledo > Mike Jacobs
• Tulane > Will Hall
• UAB > Alex Mortensen*
• UCLA > Bob Chesney
• UConn > Jason Candle
• Utah > Morgan Scalley
• Virginia Tech > James Franklin
• Washington State > Jimmy Rogers

* Nick Saban coaching tree
** Kalen DeBoer coaching tree

• Oklahoma coach Brent Venables reportedly agreed to a two-year contract extension worth over $10 million per season. Remember that time people were freaking out over Nick Saban making $3.275 million per year?
• Urban Meyer used to enjoy building sandcastles with his granny. But his parents thought it was creepy, so they glued the urn shut.
• Fat F*** Phil Fulmer told his doctor, “every day I wake up, I look in the mirror and I want to throw up. What’s wrong with me?” The doctor replied “I don’t know, but your eyesight is perfect.”

WE WON’T HAVE THESE KOACHES TO KICK AROUND ANYMORE:

• Former LSU head coach Brian Kelly.
• Famous Last Words: ‘Member that time Hugh Freeze beat Bammer??!? Let’s hire HIM!
• Grade A buffoon Biff Poggi.
• I wouldn’t be surprised if Sherrone Moore ended up working as a bouncer at a Reno strip bar.
• UCLA’s DeShaun Foster – great player; terrible coach.
• Former UAB coach Trent Dilfer has a job but it’s high school.
• Justin Wilcox never really got the support he needed from the Cal administration. Neither will new head coach and former Bama assistant Tosh Lupoi.
• Surprisingly former Eagles and Jaguars head coach Doug Pederson has not worked since being fired from Jax following the 2024 season. The 58-year old coached Philly to the Super Bowl LII Championship in the 2017 NFL season.

TEEVEE

Speaking of Brian Kelly, the former Notre Dame and LSU coach landed a gig with CBS Sports Network doing color commentary. He was on for the Jacksonville State-North Dakota State game.

THIS WEEK

Below is just a sampling highlight of games of interest this week. If you REALLY MUST know about the BIG Norfolk State @ Old Dominion Battle Royale, click here.

Thursday, September 3 – 11 games

Akron at Wake Forest 6pm/7pm ACCN
Arkansas-Pine Bluff at Missouri 7pm/8pm SECN
Colorado at Georgia Tech 7pm/8pm ESPN
Idaho at Utah 8pm/9pm ESPNU
UAB at Illinois 8pm/9pm BTN

Friday, September 4 – 8 games

UTEP at Oklahoma 7pm/8pm SEC+
Miami-FL at Stanford 8pm/9pm ESPN
Fresno at Southern Cal 8pm/9pm FOX

Saturday, September 5

SEC

Kent State at South Carolina 11:45/12:45 SECN
Youngstown State at Kentucky noon/1pm SEC+
Tennessee State at Georgia 2pm/3pm SEC+
Texas State at Texas 2:30/3:30 ESPN
Furman at Tennessee 2:30/3:30 SEC+
Baylor vs Auburn 2:30/3:30 ABC (Atlanta)
North Alabama at Arkansas 3:15/4:15 SECN
Missouri State at Texas A&M 6pm/7pm ESPN
Austin Peay at Vanderbilt 6pm/7pm SEC+
Clemson at LSU 6:30/7:30 ABC
UL Monroe at Mississippi State 6:30/7:30 ESPNU
Florida Atlantic at Florida 6:45/7:45 SECN

OTHERS

Boise at Oregon 2:30/3:30 CBS – The Smurfs almost beat the Dux (37-34) a year ago.

SLEEPY TIME

UCLA AT Cal 9:30/10:30 ESPN

Sunday, September 6 – 3 games

Washington State at Washington 3pm/4pm NBC
Louisville at Ole Miss 6:30/7:30 ABC
Wisconsin vs Notre Dame 6:30/7:30 NBC

Monday, September 7 – 1 game

SMU at Florida State 6:30/7:30 ESPN

#ALABAMA

• Okay, who let Loki back in the house?!? Defensive lineman Jeremiah Beaman will miss the entire 2026 season after suffering a torn ACL in his left knee during fall practice.
• WR Lotzeir Brooks has been recovering from a undisclosed injury but should be good to go for Alabama’s season-opener.
• Freshman RB EJ Crowell who many believed might be the starter this season, has also been battling the injury bug.
• Five-star freshman safety Jireh Edwards suffered an arm injury during practice. Despite needing to undergo surgery to repair the injury, there’s optimism he’ll end up being able to return “early in the season.”
• Wide receiver Noah Rogers, who is working his way back from a spring knee injury, is expected to be back sooner than expected. He will miss regular-season opener and conference opener at Kentucky, but may be available by the second half of September.
• Running back AK Dear, who suffered an ankle injury in a fall scrimmage is also expected to miss the start of Alabama’s 2026 slate. No timetable on his return has been mentioned.
• The Alabama-ECU game will air on ABC. Last season, the Crimson Tide could be found on the flagship network 12 times. The first three Bama games are already scheduled to be on ABC as well. I get the feeling they like us.

GAME 1: Saturday, September 5, 2026

Alabama Crimson Tide (0-0) vs East Carolina (0-0)

Tuscaloosa, AL ~ 11am/noon ABC

• Coach: Blake Harrell (14–5, 10-3 AAC after a season and a half)
• ECU 2025: Harrell became interim head coach after Mike Houston’s firing following week 7 of the 2024 season and finished with a 5-1 record including a bowl win over big brother NC State. Last fall, he led the Pirates to a strong 9-4 season in the competitive AAC and added a second bowl win to his resume.
• Series: Alabama leads 1-0, with the only matchup occurring on Oct. 16, 1998 when the Crimson Tide had to sweat out a 23-22 victory in Tuscaloosa. ECU’s quarterback was David Garrard who went on to become the starting QB for the Jacksonville Jaguars. The Bama win came thanks in part to Kecalf Bailey returning a blocked PAT to the house (2 points) in the second half. Now, let’s never speak of that game ever again.
• Editorial: This time a year ago, the Crimson Tide took the first opponent of the season a little too lightly and got trounced 31-17. This year’s squad needs to come out ready to play like it’s the Super Bowl.
• Weather: OH, LAWD! The forecast is calling for a high possibly reaching 100°. #NoEarlyGamesInTheSouth
• TV Announcers: Bob Wischusen – Play-by-play commentator, Louis Riddick – Game analyst, Stormy Buonantony – Sideline reporter.
• Radio: Chris Stewart, Tyler Watts, Corey Reamer on Alabama Radio.
• Vegas: The FanDuel point spread has Alabama as a 28.5 point underdog. Over/Under is 54.5.

Sorry, no polls this year due to the cheap lazy-ass Mothership.

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