Receipts Please! Returning Oregon’s Mario Hatred Back to Senders

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What a delightful start it has been to the 2026 college football season!

The Miami Hurricanes look great, albeit as expected against inferior competition. Mario Cristobal continues to guide the ‘Canes on an upward trajectory, improving year-over-year towards Miami’s return to a perennial national title contender. Much like he did at Oregon, when he took over a 4-8 disaster of a program and guided the Ducks to two PAC 12 titles.

You know who’s not showing an upward trajectory? Mario’s old job. The listless Mallards are now 1-2 in their last three games, including:

• a 56-22 thrashing by an Indiana team that Miami played to the final drive;
• a one-score victory against Boise State, where Oregon was trailing entering the 4th Quarter; and the coup de grâce
• gifting the Oklahoma State Cowboys their first win in 21 tries against an FBS team – a team that Tulsa comfortably beat the prior week.

After Mario left to restore his alma mater to respectability, Oregon fans expressed their fair share of disapproval – often hatred – towards Mario. They also PRAISED his replacement, Daniel Arthur Lanning. And initially there was reason for Oregon’s optimism. Despite having never previously served as a head coach, Lanning took the house that Mario built and continued coach Cristobal’s momentum into a 2024 Big Ten title.

But now, in each coach’s fifth season at their respective programs, it’s clear which team is ascending and which team is not. Mario’s foundation is gone. The Autzen Stadium offices have been fully purged from the aroma of cafecito. Oregon is the Dan Lanning program now.

So to all those Oregon naysayers who believed their coach was more Nick Saban than James Franklin…to alllll those Oregon sadists who delighted at Miami slipping up against MTSU or not taking a knee against Georgia Tech…and to allllllll those critics and pundits who kept putting Dan Lanning over Mario in their coaches rankings that nobody asked for…it is

TIME TO SHARE THE RECEIPTS!!!

Could not have started with a more perfect post. If Barstool Oregon was shocked by Miami losing to SMU, a strong program and regular playoff contender, one can only imagine their reaction to last Saturday. Probably some sort of Looney Toons-esque, jaw hitting the floor while the tongue unrolls like a Fruit by the Foot.

Heh…no comment needed.

Dan Lanning trying to defend an Eric Morris offense? Last Saturday was the second time Morris faced Lanning and Oregon. The other time? 2022 when Lanning was the offensive coordinator at Washington State and a young fella by the name of Cam Ward put up 41 points against Oregon.

You know what that Spongebob meme looks like today? Oregon Defensive Coordinator Chris Hampton looking at his play sheet while Oklahoma State was racking up 554 of yards on offense. Uhhhh MaYbE tHiS wIlL wOrK?!?!?!

Oh yeah, Mario’s QB development looks really questionable after these last 2+ seasons. Meanwhile, Dante Moore, who entered the season as the arguable favorite for the Heisman and No. 1 overall pick, was a paltry 14 of 29 and looks like a shell of himself from last year. At this rate, Oregon will be turning to backup Dylan Raiola by mid-season.

Another banger of a take, this time from Puddles the legally blind waterfowl. As the years progress, it looks like Oregon will need to go back to scheduling Pac 12 teams. Not the old programs, the current programs. Boise State was a tough out after all. At least that way they’ll get their equal footing rival Oregon State back on a regular schedule.

No, no we will not stop. The evidence strongly suggests otherwise.

Sorry, you’re stuck with first time head coach Dan Lanning. Coach Whittingham is busy beating Oklahoma while Lanning loses to Oklahoma State.

So, how’s that poll working out now?

I guess that poll aged poorly.

As recently as this summer Ducks fans still believed that Lanning is an upgrade to Cristobal. Even in recruiting. I get that Oregon was the first state to legalize weed, but even FSU fans have sobered up on Mike “no lights” Norvell.

Maybe, hopefully, for their sake, Oregon fans will start sobering up as well.

Acceptance is the first step to recovery.

Go Canes

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