SEC football coaches as Christmas characters: A festive holiday guide

NCAAF College Football News, Photos, Stats, Scores, Schedule & Videos...

You might know Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and Vixen, but do you know which Christmas characters each Southeastern Conference head coach is most similar to?

These are the questions that require answers, especially with the most holly, jolly day of the year rapidly approaching. Sure, we can discuss which teams will survive in the CFP and which newly-hired coaches will succeed or fail. We can even talk about a potential playoff expansion for the millionth time. The best way to spread holiday cheer across the SEC landscape is by taking a deep dive into which head coaches match up best with the well-known characters that grace our television screens every Christmas season, however.

With the holidays just around the corner, here is who every SEC head coach would be if they were Christmas characters:

Kalen DeBoer (Alabama) – Conductor from "Polar Express"

While his team dropped the ball against the Florida State Seminoles in the season opener, DeBoer remained calm, cool and collected. He believed in his players and his team, much like The Conductor expresses his belief in Santa Claus and the magic of Christmas in "The Polar Express". The losses against FSU and Oklahoma did not derail DeBoer's squad, nor did they diminish the Crimson Tide's fans' belief that they can still win the national title after their 28-7 loss to Georgia in the SEC Championship.

Ryan Silverfield (Arkansas) – Rudolph from "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer"

Just like Rudolph, Silverfield wasn't the first choice in the lineup. When chaos struck Fayetteville, Arkansas, he was the one called upon to guide the metaphorical sleigh. The wild coaching search across the SEC was full of twists and turns, but Silverfield is the one who's been trusted to lead the Razorbacks out of the fog and into a season with more than two wins. His perseverance and underdog personality could easily cast him as Rudolph.

Alex Golesh (Auburn) – Evil Santa Claus from "The Santa Clause 2"

The evil Santa clone was built to run the North Pole in the absence of Scott Calvin, as he tried to find a wife before time expired to save Christmas. Little did he know, the most organized, precise and highly-efficient copy was running a tight ship at the North Pole. This just screams Golesh implementing his explosive, tricky offense at Auburn. He is determined to get this program into shape and back on track, with high energy being the center of his program.

Jon Sumrall (Florida) – Yukon Cornelius from "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer"

Like Yukon, Sumrall brings a rugged, no-nonsense edge to Florida as he begins his search for stabilization in Gainesville. He's going to approach the challenges with the gritty optimism Yukon shows. The blue-collar mentality fits the role of a coach willing to hack through tough terrain and outwork anyone in his way. That tough mindset perfectly emulates Yukon, as he searches for something valuable to build on in The Swamp.

Kirby Smart (Georgia) – Ebenezer Scrooge "A Christmas Carol"

When that hair begins to fly up in the air from his visor as he screams instructions at his team, it becomes difficult not to mistake Smart for Ebenezer Scrooge. Smart loves the gold, but the ghost of Christmas past, also known as former Alabama head coach Nick Saban, always seemed to send shivers down his spine. He's a real bah humbug if you're on the opposite side of the field, especially once he throws those hands up to start clapping for a timeout.

Will Stein (Kentucky) – Heremey the Elf from "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer"

Stein has been an extremely accomplished offensive coordinator at the Oregon Ducks, but his dream has always resided in being a head coach, like most assistants across the college football landscape. His determined mindset to not let anyone get in the way of his dream, in returning to his father's alma mater and becoming the new leader of the Wildcats. Similar to Heremy's dreams of becoming a dentist, Stein is willing to do whatever it takes to succeed, with the ultimate underdog mentality.

Lane Kiffin (LSU) – The Grinch from "How The Grinch Stole Christmas"

This self-explanatory description of Kiffin equates to the way all Ole Miss fans feel about their former head coach right about now. That smug grin that he wore in his introductory press conference made me do a double-take, thinking it was Jim Carey reciting his lines in the ridiculous makeup and special effects. Kiffin has been the ultimate grinch, wrecking the holidays and staking his claim to be the most self-centered head coach in college football.

Jeff Lebby (Mississippi State) – Cindy Lou Who from "The Grinch"

Lebby is the kind of coach that it is impossible to hate. He brings faith and belief to Starkville, even through the down times. He is innocent and all things sweet, but was heckled by The Grinch (Lane Kiffin) just when it looked like Christmas had a chance to be saved. Like Cindy Lou searching for answers on where Christmas is, Lebby is still trying to find a bowl game.

Eli Drinkwitz (Missouri) – Clark Griswald from "Christmas Vacation"

No better coach in the SEC embodies the over-prepared, overly enthusiastic dad energy who swears this is the year the lights finally turn on. While Drinkwitz has claimed his fair share of success in CoMo, the Tigers have come up just short in many aspects, eerily similar to how the Griswald's Christmas went. Remember when Clark finally got the lights to work? Or, when he got his bonus check after Cousin Eddie kidnapped his boss? Drinkwitz embodies those flashes of success, but with not much to show for it, but maybe a jelly of the month club membership.

Brent Venables (Oklahoma) – Ralphie from "A Christmas Story"

Just like Ralphie dreaming of his Red Ryder BB gun, Venables spends much of the year scheming up the most diabolical and clever defensive play-calls he can muster. His kid-like intensity and somewhat giddy smile emphatically embody Ralphie in SEC form. Ralphie never quit on his Christmas wish, kind of similar to Oklahoma fans refusing to admit Texas is better.

Pete Golding (Ole Miss) – Cousin Eddie from "Christmas Vacation"

Golding is the SEC head coach you'll likely find cracking jokes around the eggnog at a Christmas gathering. He has a massive heart for the sport, his players and the Ole Miss fan base, and his energy is unmatched. The wild, yet unpredictable, personality is Cousin Eddie in a nutshell. Even with the drama surrounding Kiffin's departure, Golding has never changed his personality or what he believes in. That chaotic and lovable radiancy is creating waves in Oxford.

Shane Beamer (South Carolina) – Buddy the Elf from "Elf"

His relentless positivity and wide-eyed, constant energy radiate pure enthusiasm. Beamer is the upbeat coach who believes in buying in and believing. Put a video of Buddy walking around New York looking for his dad and Beamer strolling down the sideline looking for his offensive line to finally block — what's the difference? His somewhat awkward personality and childlike conviction that all good things are possible in Columbia, South Carolina, make every room he steps into a little brighter.

Josh Hepuel (Tennessee) – Heat Miser from "A Year Without A Santa Claus"

Heupel's offense turns every single Saturday into a scorched-earth spectacle. He cranks up the temperature on opposing defenses, forcing foes to plan accordingly. Fiery, fast and impossible to cool off, Heupel's system makes playmakers with ease. However, the defense typically is ice cold, which is counterintuitive.

Steve Sarkisian (Texas) – Jack Frost from "Jack Frost"

Sarkisian could be the most cold-blooded coach in the conference. His cool-headed confidence in his team. That frosty swagger that he brings to the conference strikes belief in the program and the Longhorn fans that fill the stands in Austin, Texas, every Saturday. Be on the lookout for that nasty Ebenezer Scrooge, who can be just a little bit colder.

Mike Elko (Texas A&M) – Frosty the Snowman from "Frosty the Snowman"

Arguably, Frosty is one of the most huggable, lovable Christmas characters ever. The cool-headed leadership, motivational talks and warm personality make Elko the perfect fit to be the SEC's Frosty the Snowman. His calming presence on the sideline can sometimes be interrupted by something he doesn't like on the gridiron, but it's very easy to imagine him with a corncob pipe.

Clark Lea (Vanderbilt) – Kevin McCallister from "Home Alone"

Lea has spent his entire time at Vanderbilt defending a big, underdog house with every trick, trap and brainy plan he could muster. That plan? Well, it involves a certain Heisman-contending quarterback who has been Lea's special weapon of destruction against other SEC foes, otherwise known as the Wet Bandits. Like Kevin from "Home Alone", Lea is the smart kid matched up against the toughest challenges, with little to no help around him.

Contact/Follow us @AggiesWire on X (formerly Twitter) and like our page on Facebook to follow ongoing coverage of Texas A&M news, notes and opinions. Follow Dylan on X: @dylanmflippo.

This article originally appeared on Aggies Wire: Which Christmas character is your SEC football head coach?

More at NCAAF College Football News, Photos, Stats, Scores, Schedule & Videos