Best one-liners from SEC spring meetings: 'That’s the end of cupcake weekend'
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MIRAMAR BEACH, FL – When a college football coach walks into a theater room in the basement of a beachfront resort, there’s no telling what he’ll say.
Coaches, athletic directors, university presidents and chancellors and SEC commissioner Greg Sankey gather here every year just after Memorial Day and spend most of their time meeting behind closed doors.
But, throughout the three-day meetings, many of the coaches and Sankey take a turn at the mic in a room full of reporters. Maybe it’s the relaxing beach outside these walls, or maybe it’s because the news conferences aren’t televised, but, whatever the reason, coaches are more relaxed and quippy here than they are at typical pressers.
And, the quotes flow.
Here are some of the top one-liners from SEC spring meetings:
SEC ends ‘cupcake weekend’
What he said: “That’s the end of cupcake weekend. We never got that one sponsored.” — Greg Sankey, SEC commissioner
Why he said it: Starting in 2027, the SEC will play conference games the weekend before Thanksgiving. Historically, many SEC schools would play an FCS opponent that weekend, before facing a rival the weekend after Thanksgiving.
Now, those late-November cupcake games will move somewhere in the schedule other than the weekend before Thanksgiving.
So long, pre-Thanksgiving cupcakes! The TV networks rejoice.
Coaches stir pot on College Football Playoff
What he said: “I was ahead of my time.” — Missouri coach Eliah Drinkwitz
Why he said it: Drinkwitz became the first active SEC coach to publicly support a playoff field of more than 16 teams. At SEC media days last July, Drinkwitz proposed a 30-team playoff. His idea seemed far-fetched back then.
Ten months later, the Big Ten, ACC and Big 12 all support a 24-team playoff. Some SEC coaches also want a 24-team bracket.
Drinkwitz was, indeed, at the vanguard of the super-sized playoff push, although Mike Leach had him beat. Leach supported a 64-team playoff.
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What he said: “None of us are answering for the good of the sport. We’re answering for the good of ourselves.” — Texas A&M coach Mike Elko
Why he said it: Elko beautiful described the state of self-interest within the college football ecosystem, particularly as it pertains to the College Football Playoff. Every coach, every conference, every commissioner, plus the TV networks, are angling to achieve an end that’s best for themselves, with nobody looking out for the sport as a whole.
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What he said: “Nobody in that room cares what I think about the CFP.” — Auburn coach Alex Golesh
Why he said it: Golesh is a first-year SEC coach. As a newcomer, his voice probably doesn’t carry much weight.
Don’t like a rule? Lawsuit!
What he said: “Maybe they find a local judge to allow them to use whatever process they want to use.” — Drinkwitz
Why he said it: Missouri’s coach was the first to speak with reporters, and he came armed with one-liners.
This quote was in reference to the NCAA’s new punt rule and how Big Ten coaches vehemently oppose the rule change. Drinkwitz’s zinger speaks to the current reality of college sports: If you don’t like a rule or how a rule is enforced, dial 1-800-LAWYER and file a lawsuit in front of a hometown judge.
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What he said: “On everything, it’s a lawsuit away.” — Georgia coach Kirby Smart
Why he said it: Like Drinkwitz, Smart spoke to the litigious nature of college sports: If a rule goes against you, just sue. That’s College Sports 101 in the year 2026.
The sky is falling!
What he said: “We’re close to anarchy. Time is running out on us. What have we accomplished in the last year? Nothing.” — Georgia president Jere Morehead
Why he said it: Morehead is one of the most outspoken alarmists about the future of college sports. Of course, there’s an obvious rebuttal to Morehead: If the situation is as dire as he makes it out to be, why doesn’t he do something about it?
University presidents and chancellors rarely use their power and influence to enact positive change to college sports. Mostly, they just say panicky one-liners and beg for somebody else to save them.
Bottoms up
What he said: “In full disclosure, it was a s***show.” — Florida coach Jon Sumrall
Why he said it: Sumrall was describing his three-week experience of juggling two jobs. After he accepted the Florida job, he continued to coach Tulane in the AAC Championship and in a first-round loss in the playoff. Sumrall called his decision to pull double duty “the dumbest thing I’ve ever done in my life,” but he added he doesn’t regret sticking it out with Tulane through the end of the season.
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What he said: “You feel like you’ve been drinking. That’s like mixing tequila, bourbon and beer all at the same time. That’s going to make you sick.” — Sumrall
Why he said it: Sumrall doubled up on the pithy descriptions of his experience working two jobs at once.
Plot twist: Lane Kiffin goes quiet
What he said: “I know you wanted that line. I had a really good one, too.” — LSU coach Lane Kiffin
Why he said it: Kiffin has caused quite a stir this month with some of his comments about Ole Miss and his split with the Rebels last November. Kiffin reined in his comments here and dodged two questions about Ole Miss and his Sept. 19 return to Oxford, when LSU will play the Rebels in what’s arguably the most anticipated game of the season.
Kiffin deployed every fiber of restraint he possesses to resist commenting on Ole Miss, but he made sure to let us know he had a good one-liner cued up — he just didn’t allow himself to say it.
Blake Toppmeyer is the USA TODAY Network’s senior national college football columnist. Email him at BToppmeyer@gannett.com and follow him on X @btoppmeyer.
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Kirby Smart, Lane Kiffin, Jon Sumrall uncork top quotes of SEC meetings
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