Jordan Chiles says not every friendship is meant to last — and that’s helped protect her peace
TheGrio...
The Olympic gymnast, Jordan Chiles, opens up to theGrio about how she navigates a very public life while managing her mental health.
Seeing Jordan Chiles today, whether she’s working the red carpet in Le Thanh Hoa, nailing her latest choreography on “Dancing with the Stars,” or soaring through the air during her latest viral routine, it’s hard to imagine she’s ever had trouble feeling like “that girl.”
However, the 25-year-old Olympic gymnast, who has become known for her infectious energy as much as her performance on the mat, will be the first to tell you getting to know this version of herself hasn’t been easy. It’s required working through anxiety, depression and, perhaps somewhat unexpectedly, learning that not every friendship is meant to last.
“My dad always told me, you find people that are for eternity, and then you find people that are just there for a season. And I don’t take that lightly,” the gymnast told theGrio during an interview last week.
Speaking to theGrio ahead of a new Ad Council campaign called “Love, Your Mind,” featuring music by Victoria Monét and promoting the importance of seeking out mental health resources, which officially launched Monday, the two-time Olympian opened up about her mental health journey and what she’s done to love her mind better, from finding resources to reevaluating some of the relationships in her life and more.
“I was always the person that made sure everybody else was okay,” Chiles said.
She recalled past friendships in which she poured all she had into them, realizing she was not only depleting herself but also receiving little in return.
“Like, I can tell you now, going through college, going through high school, I don’t have the same friends, and that is okay because we’re all learning and we’re all living differently. And so there have been times where I’ve realized, like, ‘Wow, I’m helping you and helping you and helping you, but you’re not doing anything to help me back, and it’s kind of draining me. It’s making me feel weak. It’s making me feel like I’m not represented very well,’” she explained.
As a result, Chiles said she’s learned “that I have to take care of myself to make sure everybody else is okay. I can’t constantly put myself in a position where, you know, I’m always lending a hand and there’s no reciprocation back.”
It’s no secret what the athlete has been through. The UCLA graduate, who recently earned a degree in African American studies, has grown up in the spotlight, balanced college gymnastics alongside an Olympic career that has taken her to both Tokyo and Paris, endured abuse, racism in the sport, personal grief, a toxic relationship with food, her mother’s legal troubles becoming public, and a highly publicized, ongoing legal battle over an Olympic medal that was ultimately stripped away. And yet she remains at peace, wearing a smile and confidently sharing her knowledge with others.
“It’s a process,” she said of working on one’s mental health. “It’s not something that you just wake up and it’s fixed. It’s a process. It’s not something that you should take lightly. I definitely can say it’s something you should really focus on and make sure that you are really, you know, staying true to yourself, be as authentic as possible.”
Doing so, she said, prevents major life changes and the curveballs they throw from becoming the kind of challenges you can’t heal from.
“Allow yourself to understand that your life is a process,” Chiles said to anyone who may be going through a difficult season.
“I’m gonna definitely tell you life is hard,” she noted. “I mean, we constantly are growing. We’re constantly going through stuff internally, whether it’s, you know, physically or emotionally and mentally, and you just have to be able to process everything.”
She added, “Live your life to the best that you can. You’re gonna look back at times and be like, ‘10 years from now, you’re gonna look back and be like, ‘Wow, I remember sitting down talking to so and so, and now look at me being able to, you know, know the process of going through my ups and downs,’ so just don’t take it lightly and really understand who you are.”
For other young women of color, and Black women especially, Chiles couldn’t stress enough the importance of having the right people around you through it all.
“Use the people around you,” she said. “Walk into a space that you’re wanted. Walk into a space that you’re gonna be the brightest star in. Because at the end of the day, you’re telling your story and you’re writing it the way that you want to write it.”