Like many women veterans, I kept my service to myself
TheGrio...
OPINION: Melissa Harris shares how military service shaped her life and why veteran support spaces remain deeply important.
June 12 is Women Veteran’s Recognition Day in honor and remembrance of the day in 1948 when the Women’s Armed Services Integration Act was signed, allowing women the right to permanently serve in the Armed Forces.
Editor’s note: The following article is an op-ed, and the views expressed are the author’s own. Read more opinions on theGrio.
I joined the Army at 18, before graduating from high school in 1987, to pay for college and serve my country. Growing up in Brooklyn, New York, to immigrant parents from the Caribbean, I learned to appreciate both my heritage and the opportunities available in the United States. My parents’ decision to build a life here inspired me to honor their sacrifice by enlisting. In the summer of 1988, I went to Fort Jackson, South Carolina, for basic training.
At 19, I felt a sense of accomplishment after completing basic training and advanced individual training. I was also attending Edward Waters University in Jacksonville, Florida. As a carefree college student in the Army Reserve, I believed I could focus on earning my degree while fulfilling my military commitment. That changed in 1990 when my unit, the 345th Combat Support Hospital, was activated for Operation Desert Storm.
My immediate reaction was, “Hey, wait a minute, I’m in school!” But the Army had other plans.
When we landed in Saudi Arabia in early January 1991, I was terrified. We were taken to a warehouse in King Khalid Military City, where more than 200 soldiers slept on rows of cots. During Desert Storm, we experienced a SCUD attack while housed there. We had to put on our gas masks, and I will never forget how scared I was. One fellow soldier, likely just as frightened, focused on keeping me calm. He kept saying, “Ritchie, you can’t cry; you will break the seal of that mask.” He was right, so like a soldier, I held it together.
Another moment I remember vividly was when oil fires turned the sky an ominous orange. Not knowing what was happening, I thought we were under a gas attack. Again, I told myself, “Suck it up, soldier.” I never showed how afraid I was, but I know I wasn’t the only one.
When I returned stateside, I was a different person. I had always been a focused student, but after Desert Storm, I became hyper-focused. Before deployment, I balanced college life with classes, friends, and fun. Afterward, all I wanted to do was graduate and build a stable career. The Army gave me the opportunity to earn my degree debt-free, and it strengthened my work ethic in ways I still carry today.
After college, I joined a civilian management training program with the Air Force while continuing to serve in the Army Reserve. In 2000, I accepted a position with the City of Dallas, where I still work today.
For years, I put my military service behind me. Like many female veterans, I rarely talked about it. Only close friends and family knew I had served. I viewed my military experience as something private rather than something to celebrate. In professional environments, I worried that talking about my accomplishments might come across as bragging. I preferred to show my experience through my work instead.
That changed when I began connecting with veteran organizations like the City’s Veteran Employee Resource Group, She Vets It, and Heroes on the Water (HOW), where I now serve as a board member and donor.
Whenever you’re around other veterans, there’s a collective sigh of relief because everyone understands the “it” of military life: the deployments, the sounds and smells, and the experiences that stay with you long after service ends. At HOW events, that shared understanding creates a sense of peace. Even for someone like me, who had never fished before, being on the water felt relaxing and restorative.
Last year, at a Heroes on the Water event in Louisiana, I went kayak fishing for the first time. Thanks to the patience and encouragement of Heroes on the Water leadership, I even caught two catfish.
Organizations like Heroes on the Water remind veterans and first responders that healing doesn’t always happen in a doctor’s office. Sometimes it happens quietly, sitting beside people who understand your story without needing an explanation. For me, some of that healing happened out on the water.
That’s why I encourage people to support organizations like Heroes on the Water, whether through donations, volunteering, or even starting a chapter in their own communities. Veterans and first responders, especially women, need spaces where they can reconnect, heal, and simply be understood. Maybe one day I’ll see you out on the water, too.
Melissa Harris is Chief Communications Officer for the Employees’ Retirement Fund of the City of Dallas, a board member of Heroes on the Water, and a U.S. Army veteran. She previously served in military public affairs and worked as an online television producer for Air Force Television News and Combat Camera. Harris holds a bachelor’s degree in communications from Edward Waters University and a master’s degree in management from Webster University.