Mike Gundy's rant is still an all-timer. The best quote wasn't 'I'm 40!'
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He brought a prop. That’s how you knew Mike Gundy’s rant would be epic. If he brought a prop, that meant he intended for this to be good enough for the Rant Hall of Fame.
Nineteen years later, it remains one of the most memorable tirades ever.
This week marks another anniversary of Gundy’s “I’m 40!” rant. I rewatched the clip recently, and it still holds up as an all-timer. As an ink-stained sports hack, I especially enjoy that Gundy brought a copy of The Oklahoman’s sports section to display as his prop.
Coaches still rant and rave, but it’s been a minute since I’ve seen any of them bring the print edition. Simpler times, those.
Probably every college football fan has seen the rant, but many likely don’t know what had Gundy’s hackles up. His tirade centered on a Jenni Carlson column in The Oklahoman in which she wrote about why Cowboys quarterback Bobby Reid had been benched in favor of Zac Robinson.
Many people have probably forgotten (or didn’t realize) Gundy’s rant came after a win. He worked himself into a frenzy anyway.
Robinson went on to have a fine career at Oklahoma State. Carlson has done well for herself, too. She’s still writing as the respected columnist at The Oklahoman.
As Carlson wrote in a column for The Oklahoman on the 10th anniversary of the rant, she and Gundy had “moved on” from the incident and had “a solid working rapport.”
As for Gundy, his best days were ahead of him. Tennessee made a run at hiring him three times during his heyday. He never left Oklahoma State, his alma mater. Times were mostly good, until they weren’t. The Cowboys fired Gundy last season. He’s now 59 and unemployed.
Reid transferred to Texas Southern after that 2007 season. Although many Cowboys fans liked what they interpreted as Gundy standing up for his player, Reid and his mom didn’t appreciate the rant, they revealed to ESPN the following year for a story in ESPN The Magazine.
Anyway, in honor of the rant anniversary, I did the enjoyable work of ranking Gundy’s top lines from his tirade. You might be surprised to learn “I’m a man! I’m 40!” didn’t check in at No. 1.
Highlights of Mike Gundy's 'I'm a man! I'm 40!' rant
Here’s my list:
Honorable mention: “If your child goes down the street, and somebody makes fun of him, because he dropped a pass in a pickup game, or says he’s fat, and he comes home crying to his mom, you’d understand. But you haven’t had that. But, someday, you will, and when your child comes home, you’ll understand.”
One of Gundy’s themes was that only a childless sportswriter would have the nerve to criticize a college athlete. That’s an unfounded take, but it got even wilder when Gundy became sidetracked by this hypothetical anecdote of a child dropping a pass in a pickup game or getting called fat. His comments were apropos of nothing, as Carlson’s column was not about dropped passes or anyone being fat.
Honorable mention, Part II:“This article embarrasses me to be involved with athletics, tremendously.”
Wait, Gundy was embarrassed to be a football coach, because he didn’t like what a sports columnist wrote? I don’t follow his logic, but his commitment to the bit amuses me.
No. 5:“That’s why I don’t read the newspaper! Because, it’s garbage! And the editor that let it come out is garbage!”
Ah, this one’s a classic. The coach who says he doesn’t read what the media write but nonetheless blows a gasket about what someone in the media wrote. If you didn’t read it, why are you angry?
No. 4:“That’s all I got to say. Makes me want to puke.”
Call me basic, but I think it’s a hoot when someone says they’re so disgusted they want to puke. That one never gets old.
No. 3:“Let me tell you why I want to talk about this article. Three-fourths of it is inaccurate. It’s fiction.”
The humor in this one is all about how Gundy pronounces “inaccurate.”
It comes out as, “In-ack-urt.”
No. 2:“Come after me! I’m a man! I’m 40!”
No notes necessary. Just an A-list line that elevated this rant into the stratosphere of Jim Mora’s “Playoffs?!?”
No. 1:“This was brought to me by a mother (dramatic pause . . . ) of children."
As opposed to a mother of kittens? A mother of wild banshees? A mother of aliens?
Just so we’re all clear, it was a mother . . . of children.
Blake Toppmeyer is the USA TODAY Network's senior national college football columnist. Listen to his podcast, "College Football Unfiltered." Email him at BToppmeyer@gannett.com and follow him on X @btoppmeyer.
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Mike Gundy's rant is still an all-timer. The best quote wasn't 'I'm 40!'
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