Paul Sullivan: A handy viewer’s guide to bowl season, from best Big Ten-SEC matchup to Snoop Dogg to extra mayo

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CHICAGO — College bowl season is among us, and this year’s mix of the CFP games and a few dozen other meaningless bowls is chock full of storylines.

Unfortunately many of those storylines involve big-name coaches who won’t be coaching, from Lane Kiffin to Marcus Freeman to Sherrone Moore.

The Kiffin-to-LSU saga will be front and center during the Ole Miss playoff games and LSU’s appearance in the Texas Bowl. Notre Dame’s decision to decline a bowl invite will be a big part of the Pop-Tarts Bowl narrative and any playoff game involving Alabama and Miami. Moore’s shocking firing and arrest Wednesday will no doubt be discussed during Michigan’s matchup with Texas in the Citrus Bowl and in any bowl with a coach rumored to be a possibility to replace Moore in Ann Arbor, Mich.

In addition to the coaches, hundreds of kids will be playing for the chance to end their season on a high note and perhaps increase their visibility for the transfer portal or NFL draft.

After a long season of debating everything from Bill Belichick’s girlfriend to the CFP rankings, it’s finally time to sit back and enjoy the good, bad and ugly of the college bowl season, which is brought to you by the likes of ESPN, TNT and the CW, in conjunction with the SEC, Big Ten and corporate sponsors galore and cities begging you to come see their downtowns and spend money.

I’ve long argued there are too many bowl games rewarding mediocre teams and have offered to pare them down to a dozen or so. Yet I always find myself watching all or parts of bad bowl games, making me part of the problem. It’s a conundrum.

But as long as there is a football game on a screen, some of us will feel obligated to watch. The CFP games are important and deserving of the most eyeballs, but for those looking for an old-fashioned bowl-watching experience during which they can relax and not miss much with a brief nap, here’s our guide to the 2025 bowl scene.

Best Big Ten-SEC matchup

Cheez-It Citrus Bowl, Texas vs. Michigan, Dec. 31

Biff Poggi replaces the quickly vanquished Moore and will lead the Wolverines into their record-setting seventh Citrus Bowl appearance. (It began as the Tangerine Bowl in 1947 before branching out to be more inclusive of all fruits rich with vitamin C.)

Michigan will face a powerful Texas team led by quarterback Arch Manning, a onetime Heisman favorite who remains fourth on the Manning Family depth chart behind Uncle Peyton, Uncle Eli and Grandpa Archie. If we’re lucky, Matthew McConaughey, the Longhorns’ Minister of Culture,” will make an appearance on the sideline and utter his catchphrase, “all right, all right, all right.”

Reliable Cheez-It sources report that if the game sucks, stick around for multiplatinum singer-songwriter Jordan Davis, who will perform a postgame concert.

Worst Big Ten-SEC matchup

ReliaQuest Bowl, Iowa vs. Vanderbilt, Dec. 31

This will be the penultimate episode of “The Diego Pavia Show,” showcasing Vanderbilt’s Heisman Trophy finalist to the nation one last time before he plays in the Senior Bowl, gets drafted in the middle rounds and becomes a career NFL backup and future insurance ad spokesperson.

Vanderbilt would be the best story in the CFP if there were a 16-team field but instead will have to whomp Iowa to prove playoff expansion is needed.

Best game for rapping

Snoop Dogg Arizona Bowl, Fresno State vs. Miami (Ohio), Dec. 27

The Snoop Dogg Bowl is presented by Gin & Juice By Dre and Snoop, which is an offshoot of their 1994 song “Gin and Juice,” which was ranked No. 8 on VH-1’s all-time hip-hop songs.

Few knew when Snoop Dogg sang about having “my mind on my money and my money on my mind” that he would one day become a mainstream pop-culture icon, a coach on “The Voice,” an Olympics TV host and a famous celebrity football fan. Unfortunately, Snoop Dogg Bowl fans are advised to leave their gin at home instead of smuggling it into Arizona Stadium in a brown paper bag.

According to the stadium rules, “it is unlawful for a person to consume spirituous liquor from a broken package in a public place, through a thoroughfare, or gathering.” Kind of kills the vibe, right?

Best game for napping

Tony the Tiger Sun Bowl, Arizona vs. Duke, Dec. 31

This is the 92nd edition of the Sun Bowl, which has been sponsored by John Hancock, Wells Fargo, Vitalis, Brut, Hyundai and now Kellogg’s Frosted Flakes, the home of Tony the Tiger.

But no matter who is playing in it or what corporation is sponsoring it, the Sun Bowl always led to a nice, long nap around the third quarter when the sun is setting over the Franklin Mountains outside Sun Bowl Stadium. OK, maybe it was just the soothing voice of the great Verne Lundquist. Who knows?

Worst pregame hype

The Bucked Up LA Bowl Hosted By Gronk, Boise State vs. Washington, Saturday

“Gronk” refers to former NFL player Rob Gronkowski, a famously inarticulate athlete still living off of his association with Tom Brady. The Bucked Up LA Bowl website informs us the game “brings the excitement of college football to Los Angeles with a matchup between the Mountain West Champion and a top Pac-12 team.”

But Mountain West champ Boise State is playing Washington, which left the Pac-12 for the Big Ten two years ago. Maybe Gronk was thinking it’s Washington State, one of the two remaining teams in the Pac-12, which is playing Utah State in the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl? No matter. If you find yourself watching this game, you can at least tell your friends you were “bucked up” watching football.

Best postgame tradition

Duke’s Mayo Bowl, Wake Forest vs. Mississippi State, Jan. 2

Dumping mayonnaise on the winning coach’s head is a tradition that dates all the way to 2021 and took another leap forward last year when rapper Flavor Flav dressed as mascot “Tubby” and gave Minnesota coach P.J. Fleck his “mayo bath.” An exhilarated Fleck responded with Flav’s trademark: “Yeah, boy!”

This year’s favorite to wear the crown of soybean oil, eggs, water, distilled cider and vinegar, salt, oleoresin paprika, natural flavors and calcium disodium EDTAs is Mississippi State coach Jeff Lebby. While Ole Miss is headed to the college football playoff, Mississippi’s favorite safety school finished 1-7 in the SEC and with five total wins but earned its invite when Notre Dame and two Big 12 teams declined theirs. Mississippi State was picked for its Academic Progress Rate (APR). No, really.

Most depressing sponsor

Trust & Will Holiday Bowl, Arizona vs. SMU, Jan. 2

Trust & Will, the new title sponsor, is referred to by bowl-marketing honchos as “the leader in online estate planning.”

There’s nothing like sitting back on the couch and watching a bowl game while thinking about which relatives will get your 401K and baseball card collection when you’re dead. For those planning on attending the Dead Bowl, the first 10,000 fans get free one-day-admission tickets to SeaWorld San Diego, which probably will be worth more than the ticket to the game.

Best hangover cure

Capital One Orange Bowl, Jan. 1

Since this quarterfinal CFP matchup — likely between Oregon and Texas Tech — is the first game on New Year’s morning, it basically will be over by the time you wake up and remember what you did last night.

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