Seedy K’s Postseason Pigskin Punditry & Prognostications: Portal & Picks
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Like the whole fraternity house full of signal callers who’ve matriculated through the revolving door of Jeff Brohm’s QB Room at the Schnell Complex then left, two more have bid the Cardinals their fond(?) adieu.
Deuce Adams and Brady Allen have gone veni vidi splitski.
Sayonara, ye former future Johnny U wannabes.
As for who’s got next, seems that Coach B searched through the discount bins at Bargain Supply. Those who might have had former Buckeye Lincoln Kienholz as the next Cardinal TP QB, cash your ticket.
With a few loyalists hangin’ around — thank you Clev Lubin and apparently Isaac Brown — Louisville’s roster is undergoing an almost total makeover.
To the consternation of the fan base.
But, ya know what kids, hate it as we might and do, it’s everywhere, it’s everywhere.
Several sources advise that in the first weekend of the TP, there are 4500 or so DI pigskinners who see greener grass somewhere other than where they are currently enrolled for their higher education.
Love that class at Somewhere Else A&M — English 359: Keats’ Hip Hop Influence.
And you thought a lot of space travelers were morphing intergalactically through the Iconian Gateway.
Pshaw. Beam ’em up, Scotty.
Money Talks, Most Everybody Walks.
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Speaking of which, I can’t help but think of Jeff Landry.
He’s the governor of Louisiana.
Who famously and matter of factly advised that whoever replaced Brian Kelly wouldn’t have all those incentives and buyouts in a more reasonable contract.
Tsk, tsk.
Well, Guv, rotate on this.
The Kiffin largesse: 7 years. $91 million. Buyout: 80% of remaining salary with no offset if that insufferable new coach of yours is fired.
Plus a clause that, should he win a natty, he has to be made the highest paid coach in the land.
And . . . and . . . and . . . that ain’t all.
LSU is paying him the bonuses for Ole Miss’s postseason success, the ones Lovable Lane would have earned had he stayed in Oxford Town.
$500,000 so far. Half again more, should the Rebs vanquish Miami. $1 million should Mississippi win it all.
The Bayou Bengals have shown their new mentor the money.
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Meanwhile the best coach in college football — Curt Cignetti — has one of those Good Faith Market Review provisions in his recently restructured employment contract.
Having beaten Alabama like it was St. Polycarp, CG now gets a bump to become one of the top three paid coaches in the land. On tops of the $700 large he earned for that W. Which becomes a million if he beats Oregon, and double that should the Hoosiers run the table.
Mark Cuban, that you with the checkbook?
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Speaking of how money played out on the field.
In their quarterfinal, Oregon’s old school Phil Knight money roster held the $25 million nouvelle riche Red Raiders of Texas Tech to Zero points.
What’s $25 million divided by 0?
Infinity?
Whatever, in the Permian Basin, it’s like digging a roster full of wells, with every one coming up dry.
But with still enough liquid gold shooting from the ground to land the Numero Uno QB in the portal, former Indiana Hoosier, former Cincinnati Bearcat Brendan Sorsby.
Unless of course, the QB’s inner student is intrigued by this course available at the Lubbock campus, “Chuck Wagons and Cattle Drives” (Real offering. Read it in their catalog.)
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OK, a couple QB notes from the Quarters.
How on earth could Trinidad Chambliss not be asked to NY for the Heisman ceremony?
As for the winner of that hallowed statuette, Fernando Mendoza had a ho hum performance against the Crimson Tide.
14/16. 8/8 when blitzed. Three TD tosses. All those against a blitz.
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As for my postseason prediction performance, I remain a mediocre 14-9 overall. Four up, four down in the 8 playdown battles.
The winners in this week’s semifinals:
Miami vs. Mississippi (Fiesta Bowl). There have been no updates I’ve read as to whether Lane Kiffin has allowed the assistants at Ole Miss who are following him to Baton Rouge to stick around full time for this semi-final. Has to be a distraction, right? No matter how locked in Pete Golding’s squad is. Meanwhile Hurricane mentor was sending I heart you hand signals to former U coach Jimmy Johnson after besting Georgia. Don’t know if “The U is Back” or not, but beating the Bulldogs was big. Trinidad Chambliss is a wonder. Forty yard strikes while sprinting out. Really. But Carson Beck sure came to play in the Quarters. That dismal performance against the Cardinals is yesterday’s podcast. Plus, ya know, Rueben Bain and Malachi Toney. Ole Miss is a nice story, given the whole coaching weltschmerz and all. But Michael Irvin and Ray Lewis shall be chest bumping after this one. Hurricanes to the final.
Oregon vs. Indiana (Peach Bowl). Worth noting, in recent times the Ducks have fallen to the same school twice in a season, in regular and in post. To UDub. To the Buckeyes. Is the third time a charm? Because there’s that 20-30 L to IU at Autzen earlier this autumn. Or, are the Hoosiers just better? Even I still have doubts. As someone who has a little homage in the corner of my TV room to my now second favorite team. Incense. A Curt Cignetti bobblehead. A button I bought on Ebay that popped off Bobby Knight’s plaid blazer during a Purdue game. Indiana continues to amaze. The only school in the current CFP format to prevail after a bye. Though we continue to wonder, can they do it again? Then we watch them block and tackle and swarm and perform. Quelling the Quack one more once? Book it. Indiana.
— c d kaplan
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