Selling urinals won't eliminate Nebraska stench. Beating Indiana will | Opinion
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They’re spending more than half a billion dollars on the Big Red rebuild, renovating a legendary shrine of a college football stadium and selling some of the teardown as memorabilia.
Seats, signs, benches, art work … and urinals.
A fitting analogy to Nebraska’s desperate search for relevance over the past two decades. If you can’t eliminate the stench, may as well throw it out.
Only this time, Nebraska may actually make some money off the process — instead of paying millions upon millions to make the stench go away.
This brings us all the way to another picturesque fall weekend in the most beautiful college town on the planet. Defending national champion Indiana rolls into Lincoln on Saturday, and the irony is simply overwhelming.
Indiana, forever the armpit of college football, has won 32 of its past 34 games and is strutting around with the attitude of Alabama. Nebraska, once the bully of the sport, hasn’t won a game against a ranked team since 2016.
That’s 31 games and counting.
The latest iteration of this time it will work begins with Matt Rhule and his history of turning around moribund programs. How in the world we ever got to the place of moribund and Nebraska in the same sentence is preposterous on its own, until you see the lingering — wait for it — stench.
The Huskers are 0-9 under Rhule against ranked teams, and have lost by an average of 18 points a game. What makes this time any different, you ask?
Let’s ask Rhule, who before arriving in Lincoln, was considered a jewel of a coach. A guy who won — if you can believe this — at Temple. He then walked into Baylor’s self-induced implosion, cleaned it up and rocketed the Bears back to the top of the Big 12.
“We’re just a better football team,” Rhule says of his fourth Huskers team.
When you’re 19-19 in your first three seasons, and still receive a contract extension that essentially told all involved we’re doubling down on what we’ve seen, that should be the bare minimum.
Who knows what this iteration is, or if it’s any better than any of the others. Nebraska has played five winnable games, and won five with relative ease.
The Huskers look tougher and smarter. They’re playing with an attitude and strength not seen around the place where those things were the DNA for decades upon decades.
They don’t willingly, randomly and stunningly give the ball away like they have for the better part of the past two decades. They’re not struggling at the most important position on the field, and they’re not routinely lost on defense, or out of position or taking bad angles.
And for the first time in a long, long time, they’re not getting pushed around on the lines of scrimmage.
Basically all the problems of the past that had leeched onto one of the most storied programs in the sport, and no matter who was in charge, wasn’t letting go.
Only now there’s a transfer portal quarterback (Anthony Colandrea from UNLV) who has 15 total touchdowns (2 rush), and isn’t making game-changing poor decisions, and an electric freshman tailback (Jamal Rule) and a legit threat on the outside in UCLA transfer wideout Kwazi Gilmer.
Then there’s the defense, the famed Black Shirt defense that for years played like — you hate to even think it — the Pink Shirts. They’re giving up 4.4. yards per play, and a measly 21% of third down conversions.
They’ve got 16 sacks, have forced eight turnovers and only six Power conference teams have more interceptions.
“We’re not a perfect team,” Rhule said. "We’re not going to run people off the field. But that grit and that mentality and that toughness, hopefully it’ll show itself.”
Now, the problem: the only thing that beats Indiana is Indiana. You remember those days, right Herbie Husker?
When those Dr. Tom teams would roll into a big game and run up the score and steal your very soul in the process. Sort of like what Indiana did to the Huskers in Bloomington in 2024.
It was 42-7 in the third quarter, and the Hoosiers weren’t finished. Nebraska had the ball four times in the fourth quarter, and but for two long pass completions, ran 17 plays for 25 yards.
Rhule recently rewatched that massacre, because what else are you going to do, ignore it? This is the bar, like it or not.
“I like to feel the pain myself,” Rhule said.
No matter the stench.
Matt Hayes is the senior national college football writer for USA TODAY Sports Network. Follow him on X at @MattHayesCFB. Listen to him daily, from 12-2 p.m., on 1010XL-Jacksonville.
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Selling urinals won't eliminate Nebraska stench. Beating Indiana will | Opinion
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