Why are Black Women’s friendships the Internet’s favorite target?
TheGrio...
From Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande to Oprah and Gayle, social media has made a trend of turning Black women’s bonds into punchlines.
Friendship is one of the most universal human experiences. It doesn’t matter who you are or where you grew up; at some point in your life, you have loved a friend fiercely, leaned on one desperately, or mourned the loss of one deeply. And for Black women in particular, those bonds have historically been a lifeline. So why does the internet keep treating them like a joke?
Over the past several years, a troubling pattern has emerged on social media, one that specifically targets the friendships of Black women in the public eye, twisting their closeness into something “suspicious,” their loyalty into something laughable, and their humanity into content. Though the targets change, the dynamic remains the same. And the women left to bear the brunt of it are almost always Black.
In November 2025, during the Singapore premiere of “Wicked For Good,” a man lunged toward Erivo’s friend and co-star Ariana Grande. In the moment, Erivo acted on pure instinct, stepping in front of Grande in a split second. What should have been, and briefly was, a story about quick thinking and genuine care between two friends rapidly became something else entirely.
The internet turned it into a meme. Videos flooded timelines casting Erivo as Grande’s personal “bodyguard,” playing into every tired, dehumanizing trope about Black women’s bodies: that they exist to protect, to serve, to absorb the danger so someone else doesn’t have to.
In a recent conversation with Variety, the Wicked star reflected on social media’s reactions: “I just felt like my humanity had been bastardized. I think that we haven’t really come to terms with the insidious nature of how we view Black women. And I’m sure people will read this and think, ‘Oh, for goodness’ sake, it’s not about that.’ But it is.”
“Because that’s what was being made fun of,” she continued. “It was my physique; it was my shape; it was the fact that I was bald; it was about what I looked like. And because of that, there was this assumption that I was bigger than my co-star, and so I had to be controlling or protecting, and that was my role. I would hazard a guess that it would not have been the same had it been the other way around.”
The public’s assumptions of Erivo’s friendship with Grande didn’t happen in a vacuum. For years, veteran journalist and CBS Mornings anchor Gayle King has had to navigate public speculation that her decades-long friendship with Oprah Winfrey is something more than what it is. The rumors, largely fueled by tabloids and gleefully amplified on social media, have painted a narrative that two successful Black women simply cannot be that close, that loyal, that devoted to each other, without there being a secret.
Speaking on the “Call Her Daddy” podcast, King was candid about how the noise once got to her. “It used to really bother me,” she admitted. “I was recently divorced and there was a National Enquirer story [saying] that’s the reason for the divorce because they’re secretly gay.”
“Even today, there’s still people that say, “Well, you know, the truth is.” I don’t care. I’ve now gotten to the point in my life that very few things get to me,” she continued. When you go on social media, it is an accelerator on hate. As long as I feel good about what I’m doing, the people I respect and trust are okay with it… Otherwise, you’ll drive yourself nuts.”
But the fact that she had to get there, that two women whose friendship has been one of the most publicly documented and celebrated bonds in the media still couldn’t escape rumors, says everything. It’s a pattern rooted in society’s persistent refusal to see Black women’s full humanity. When Black women are visibly close, protective, tender, joyful with one another, the internet has a habit of either sexualizing it or mocking it. Their closeness becomes a punchline or a ploy for a scandalous tabloid headline. But what makes it particularly cruel is that Black women can’t seem to win either way. Be close and face ridicule or speculation. Be reserved or distant and face narratives about beef, disloyalty, or the “angry Black woman” who can’t maintain sisterhood.
Unfortunately, there’s no escaping the internet’s unsolicited commentary when you’re a Black woman in the public eye. And, King and Erivo’s decision to address this trend is not about earning sympathy, but rather refusing to let the noise define their experiences. Because ultimately, whether it’s the unique bond between Erivo and Grande or King and Winfrey’s unwavering ability to show up for one another, there is a little Black girl who lives in all of us who recognizes the magic in those kinds of friendships and knows exactly how rare and necessary they are.